Your New Beginnings
In my last post, I ended with "It is through the losses and endings in life that our new beginnings start". Strange how that works huh? What does that even mean?
With loss we also gain, we gain the beginning of something. If something doesn’t end, we cannot (or at least have a difficult time with) move on to the next step, whatever that next step may be. We can also have multiple losses, which means multiple beginnings. If we don’t lose, we stop our souls from growing and moving along in the human journey. Losing could also be another form of shedding or growth. I think, the ending of something is actually the beginning.
I think loss can also aid us or be the beginning of finding happiness. What is happiness anyways?
Everyone will define this differently, which is okay, but to me, it is something that is not determinant on anything that is outside of me, rather it is based on my inner standards of life (essentially my attitudes, values, and ideals in life). Happiness is centered around one’s thoughts, perspectives, personality, not necessarily having to do with luck. I think happiness should not be something that can be easily changed by external factors such as rainy weather, being stuck in traffic, or accidently picking up a spam call- this is an inside job. Think about it, why should your happiness and peace of mind be dictated by some other random dude’s words or actions. I know, this is definitely easier said than done- I am guilty of it too.
Of course, you will have days where you are actually feeling sad, anxious, distressed, depressed, like when one experiences the loss of a loved one or the loss of a job, but you will eventually rise above that because you have your own standards of life (that has nothing to do with anyone else) that help anchor you back to our happiness. Maybe it would be helpful to think about standards of life as an anchoring point or an internal compass… when you get distracted by life, which I know happens often, go back to your inner compass, where does it point to? What does it say? How far gone are you from your anchoring point and what do you need to get back?
Leave behind the things that don’t serve you well, that weakens you, causes you anguish and distress, are harmful, stressful relationships, and things that make you feel bad about yourself, and go towards people, places, things that make you feel good, strengthen you, and serve you well… and the good will follow. I will also acknowledge, that yes, having things like stable income and good health help with making one feel good and happy, but that doesn’t mean that everyone with stable income and good health are happy- one could be swimming in money, yet be unhappy or constantly stressed and unable to find calm, one could be struggling with a terminal disability, yet still find happiness and peace within. Like I said, this is an inside job.
What are your standards of life?
Thank you for being here.
Sending you lots of light, love, and blessings.
Daria Stepanian, LMFT